Lude & Sexual Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines that are Lude and Sexual

My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?

+1

"Wanna go on an ate with me? I'll give you the D later."
-1

I heard you got a boyfriend, but girl don't try & pretend, like you don't want this dick all the way in.
+1

Are you a doctor? Cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
0

Hi, I'm a burgular... and I'm gonna smash your back door in!
0

You can call me "The Fireman"....mainly because I turn the hoes on!
0

I'm a zombie, can I eat you out?
0

I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?
0

I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you.
0

You run track?, cause I heard you relay want this dick.
0

Are you a flight attendant? Coz u gonna be plane wth this dick soon.
0

Do you need a medic? Cause my dick is hard for you.
0

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a weiner stand.
0

Hi, I'm bisexual. I'd like to BUY you a drink...and then get sexual.
0

Twinkle twinkle little star, Let's have sex inside my car.
0

Babe, are you an elevator? Because I want to go down on you.
0

I'll kiss you in the rain, so you get twice as wet.
0

Boy: Do you wanna be my SLUT? Girl: WHAT! Boy: Do you even know what slut stands for? Boy: (S)weet (L)ittle (U)nforgetable (T)hing
0

Well spread my cheeks and call me ‘cell bitch;’ you’re prettier than anyone I ever met in the joint!
0

What if I start this relationship with you as a frien. Will you allow me to give you the 'D' later?
0

If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
-1

I heard your grades are bad.....I'm sure this D won't hurt.
-1

I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my dick disappear.
-1

Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
-2

Do you like to draw? (yeah why?) Cause I put the D in Raw.
-1

Has any one ever told you your ass looks like a phone cause I want to hit the pound button all day long.
-1

Do you like tapes and CDs? (I guess) Good, 'cause Imma tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts.
-1

Are you going to that funeral? (What Funeral) The one where MY BALLZ drop dead in your mouth.
-1

I'm not a dick in real life, but I'll play one in your vagina tonight!
-1

Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood.
-1

"If you were a washing machine, I would put my dirty load inside you."
-1

I'd hide every chair in the world just so you'd have to sit on my face.
-1

There are so many things you can do with the mouth why waste it on talking?
-1

Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?
-1

Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
-1

Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd sure love to tap THAT ass!
-1

I would tell you a joke about my penis....buts its too long ;)
-1

I forgot my blow job at your house, can I come over and get it?
-1

This Dick a rental car company.....It Hertz.
-1

Does your pussy smell like fish because I like sushi.
-1

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
-1

We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I'll poke you.
-1

Do you like Imagine Dragons? Well Imagine Dragon my balls across your face.
-1

I've got a big one, you wanna see how hard it works?
-1

So hey you want to come to this Party? Yes ok then climb up my pant leg and HAVE A BALL.
-1

Do you like Alphabet soup...Cause you gonna be choking on the D.
-1

I'm no rooster, but watch what this cock-a-do-to-you.
-1

How about later tonight, you let me slip into something a little more comfortable... Like your vagina.
-1

You know what cums after C....The D!
-1

I'm going to make you breakfast...Omellete you suck this dick.
-1

They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.
-1

If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put my dick in your ass!
-1

Do you like cherries? If not can I have yours?
-1

My penis is like a dictonary want me to blow your mind?
-1

I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I'm kinda hoping you're a slut!
-1

Roses are red, violets are blue, we're having sex, cause I'm stronger than you.
-1

My dick is like catnip, it'll make a cougar like you go wild.
-1

So, what are the chances of my balls slappin' your ass tonight?
+1

Do you like Adele? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D.
-1

Those boobs look very heavy... can I hold them for you?
-1

Is your name Autumn, cause I'd fuck you so hard all your leaves will fall off.
-1

I like my women, like I like my ice cream, fat free and dripping down my fingers.
-1

Wanna play Tic-Tac-Toe?, I'll shove a tic tac up your pussy and try to give you 3 O's in a row.
-1

I hope you have a sewing machine, cause im gonna tear dat ass up.
-1

I'd treat you like a snow storm. Give you six to eight inches and make it mildly inconvenient for you to move in the morning.
-1

My cat's dead, can I play with your pussy instead?
-1

Yeah. I'm an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?
-1

Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say "Are you gonna eat that?"
-1

Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.
0

Hey baby, I'm kind of cold, Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
-1

You might not be a Bulls fan.. But I know you felt it when this D Rose.
-1

If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?
-1

Wanna Job? It Blows!
-1

The names Dick, can I put it in you?
-1

Hey! Tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.
-1

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
-1

Is it your birthday?, because icing isn't the only thing I'll be smearing all over face your face tonight.
-1

I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
-1

Lets play circus, first sit on my face. I'll guess your weight and I'll eat the difference.
-1

Do you like chocolate, cause your gonna choke alot on this dick.
-1

How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!
-1

That dress would look great on my bedroom floor!
+1

Do you like warm weather? Cause I'm gonna put my warm balls on your face weather you like it or not.
-1

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!
+1

What's the biggest moving musle in a womens body. My cock!
-1

Lets play house...you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!
-1

The word for tonight is “legs.” Let's go back to my place and spread the word?
+1

You need something to shut that big mouth of yours!
+1

Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
-1

Do you like Jalapenos?...Because in a minute Imma be jalapeno pussy.
-1

You Need Directions?...Well First you gotta take this D-tour.
-1

Some men go around telling women they have an eight inch penis; I’d never shortchange myself like that!
-1

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic.
+1

Hi, you can call me Spider-Man cause I'll shoot my white stuff all over you.
-1

Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.
-1

Having sex is a lot like golf. I’m always happy when I get a hole in one.
-1

Do you like dragons? Cause in a minute I'll be dragon my balls across your face.
-1

Why pay $5 when you can't get this footling for free.
-1

Do you handle chickens because you look like you'd be good with cocks.
-1

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!
-1

Gurl, you make me wanna dive in the sea..... dat pus-sea.
-1

Are you a Jehovah's Witness? Cause I'm about to bend Jehovah and let you witness this dick.
-1

I’m an interior decorator. I can fill your interior; I see something big and pink.
0

My guitar teacher says my fingering is good, especially on the G-string.
-1

So, you're not into casual sex? Fine, I'll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.
-1

I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?
-1

As long as you need a place to sit, you'll always have my face.
-1

They call me the Delivery Man, cause I always come in the back door.
-1

Beauty is only skin deep; a huge cock goes much deeper.
-1

Wanna make like Scarface and say hello to my little friend.
-1

Hi! can I stir your drink, mind if i use my dick?
-1

"Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place"
-1

I call my dick the truth because bitches can't handle it.
-1

(Looking at a girls ass) Where does this bus go anyway?
-1

Let's play breathalyzer! You blow me as hard as you can, and I will tell you how drunk you are!
-1

Are you a cowgirl cause I can see you riding me.
-1

Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
-1

Have this flower before I take yours.
-1

Do you like duck meat? Then duck down here and get some meat.
-1

I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.
-1

I hope you have a sewing machine, cause im gonna tear dat ass up.
-1

Is your mom the lottery lady on TV, because I’m picturing you holding up my balls.
-1

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south?
-1

Your Ass Looks Nice, does it need servicing cause I got a wrench and some screws just for you.
-1

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
-1

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
-1

Do you know Phillis Brown? Cause in a minute you gonna phil-this brown dick.
-1

Is Pussy Lips one word? Cause I'm gonna spread them tonight.
-1

My Cock Is Like Pizza Hut, If You Don't Eat It All, You Can Pack It Up And Finish It Off At Home.
-1

Do you like Sea World, because your about to be in my splash zone.
-1

You know I live a Magnum Lifestyle.
-1

Were you conceived on a sofa? Cause you are sofacking fine.
-1

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?" (pull your pockets inside out) "Would you like to?"
-1

Is your dad a carnie (carnival worker) Because I want you sit to on my face while I try to guess your weight.
-1

Boy: There are 20 letters in the alphabet right? Girl: (26, I think) Boy: I must have forgotten U R A Q T Girl: (Your still missing one) Boy: I'll give you the D later
-1

Liquor is not the only hard thing around here.
-1

Do you like yoga? Cause yoganna love this dick,
-1

I'm studying to be a Taxidermist. Can I practice stuffing your pussy?
-1

Come in the house and take off your coat, open your mouth and let me coat the back of that throat!
-1

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?" (pull your pockets inside out) "Would you like to?"
-1

Is your dad a carnie (carnival worker) Because I want you sit to on my face while I try to guess your weight.
0

I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

-1

I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you.
-1

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
-1

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
-1

I hope you like dragons, because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
-1

I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... "Nice ass!"
-1

I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.
-1

Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.
-1

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
-1

You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
-1

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you're making me hard.
-1

If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
-1

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
-1

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
-1

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
-1

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
+1

Do you run track? Cause I heard you Relay want this dick.
-1

Are you from the ghetto? Cause I'm about to ghetto hold of dat ass.
-1

You know what I like in a girl? My dick.
-1

Are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
-1

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
-1

Do you know the difference between my dick and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
-1

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
-1

Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood.
0

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
0

Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
-1

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
-1

Are you from Iraq? 'Cause I like the way you Baghdad ass up.
-1

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
-1

Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.
-1

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
-1

Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?
-1

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?
-1

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
-1

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
-1

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
-1

Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
-1

Do you have an inhaler? Because you've got ass ma.
-1

Do you smoke pot? Because weed be cute together.
-1

Are you my homework? Cause I'm not doing you but I definitely should be.
-1

Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
-1

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK'.
-1

F**k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
-1

You can call me cake, cause I'll go straight to your ass.
0

Are you hungry? Cause omelette you suck this dick.
0

Do you like pudding? Cause I'll be pudding this dick in your ass.
0

Roses are red, violets are fine. If I be the 6, will you be the 9?
-1

Do you go to church often? Cause you're gonna be on your knees tonight.
-1

Do you know your ABC's? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.
-1

Are you an archaeologist? Because I've got a bone for you to examine.
-1

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
-1

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
-1

Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
-1

I love my bed but I'd rather be in yours.
-1

Baby, I'm like a firefighter, I find 'em hot and leave 'em wet!
-1

I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
0

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
-1

I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?
-1

Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
-1

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.
-1

What's the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
-1

I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
0

I'm like a Rubik's Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!
0

What's the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don't have a Ferrari.
0

Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
0

I'm afraid of the dark... Will you sleep with me tonight?
0

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0

Do you need a stud in your life? Cause I got the STD and all I need is U.
0

Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?
0

You smell like trash. May I take you out?
0

Let's play carpenter. First we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
0

We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
0

Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
0

You're so hot, even my pants are falling for you!
0

Are you from the Philippines? Because I wanna phil you with my penis.
0

Do you like Ramen Noodles? Cuz I'll be Rammin' my noodle in you later.
0

If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
0

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
0

I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
0

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?
0

That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0

Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
0

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0

Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
0

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you all night long!
0

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
0

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0

Are you spaghetti cause I want you to meat my balls.
0

Do you like whales? Cause we can go hump back at my place.
0

Baby I last longer than a white crayon.
0

Do you like to draw? Cause I put the D in Raw.
0

We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I'll poke you.
0

You remind me of the movie "Scarface" cause I want you to say hello to my little friend.
0

Do you like Adele? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D.
0

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand.
0

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0

"Do you like cherries?" [No.] "Ok, can I have yours?"
0

Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.
0

Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.
0

[Excuse me, do you have the time?] "Yes, do you have the energy?"
0

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0

Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Because your booty is calling me.
0

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
0

Hi, wanna f**k? [No] Mind lying down while I do?
0

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
0

Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
0

Does your ass have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands?
+1

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
0

You have been very naughty. Go to my room!
0

Do you like Wendy's? Cause you're gonna love Wendy's nuts slap yo face!
0

Don't ever change. Just get naked.
0

Are those jeans Guess? Cause guess who wants to be inside them...
0

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
0

Are you the lottery lady on TV, because I'm picturing you holding up my balls.
0

Damn girl I'd love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.
0

You're so hot you could make a deceased man's dick rise from the dead!
0

As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
0

You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.
0

Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.
0

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
0

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
0

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0

I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
0

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
0

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
0

I'm not Asian but I'll still eat your cat.
0

Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
0

Are you jewish? Cause the way you're looking at me, I'm beginning to think Jewish this dick was in your mouth.
0

Do you work for Papa Johns? Cause you're a fine pizza ass.
0

Girl are you a witch? Cause you know how to make something stand without even touching it.
0

Are you from China? Cause I'm China get in your pants.
0

Do you like Pizza Hut? Cause I'll stuff your crust.
0

Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
0

Do you like tapes and CD's? Cause I'm gonna tape this dick to your forehead so you CD's nuts.
0

Do you work at the wood store? Cause I could've sworn you gave me wood before.
0

Do you like soda? Because I'd mount-and-do you. (Mountain Dew)
0

Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge.
0

I'm peanut butter, you're jelly, let's have sex.
0

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
0

Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
0

Nice shoes, wanna f**k?
0

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
0

Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
0

Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
0

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
0

Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition.
0

Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon.
0

Do you like jalapeños? Cause in a minute I'll be jalapeño pussy.
0

[Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say] "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
0

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f**k you on the floor.
0

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
0

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and f**k.
0

What can I do to make you sleep with me?
0

Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
0

I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long!
0

Do you like yoga? Cause Yoganna love this dick.
0

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
0

I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
0

Hey! Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the f**k outta me!
0

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
0

My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
0

If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you f**k me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.
0

Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and f**k the sh*t out of you. How do like them apples?
0

Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, suck my dick, it's a gem.
0

They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
0

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
0

Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
0

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
0

So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
0

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0

We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out?
0

There are 206 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0

Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
0

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0

What do you like for breakfast?
0

Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
0

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight...
0

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
0

Are those lumberjack pants your wearing... They are giving me a wood.
0

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
0

I have a job for you, but it blows!
0

Do you have a shovel? Cause I'm diggin' that ass!
0

The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.
0

Damn, are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise.
0

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
0

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
0

Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
0

Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
0

Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
0

If I washed my dick, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
0

Nice f**king weather. Want to?
0

Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
0

Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
0

Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
0

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
0

I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
0

Do you take Visa?
0

Excuse me, I just shit in my pants. Can I get in yours?
0

You are the reason that god invented boners.
0

With great penis, comes great responsibility.
0

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
0

If you're feeling down, I can fill you up.
0

There are so many things you can do with the human mouth... why waste it on talking?
0

How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?
0

You smell... We should go take a shower together.
0

Would you like a hotdog to go with those buns?
0

You're like my own personal brand of heroin.
0

This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.
0

I'm a burglar and I'm gonna smash your backdoor in.
0

Do you wanna do something that rhymes with 'Truck'?
0

I have a rare disease that will kill me unless I have sex within the next 30 minutes. Don't let me die!
0

I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue.
0

Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits.
0

Let us let only latex stand between our love.
0

Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?
0

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
0

I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
0

Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!
0

You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
0

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
0

Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
0

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
0

Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
0

I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
0

Are you from Ireland? 'Cuz my dick's-a-Dublin!
0

[Look down at your crotch] It's not just going to suck itself.
0

I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
0

Are you from Africa? Cause I wanna know Kenya suck this dick?
0

[Hold up a screw] Wanna screw?
0

Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
0

[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
0

How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
0

"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!

0

Is your name Dora? Cause I'll let you explore this dick.

0

I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
0

Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?
0

Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
0

Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
0

Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
0

Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
0

Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
0

Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
0

I'm easy. Are you?
0

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
0

Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
0

This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
0

I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help...
0

Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?
0

Hey baby, I'll f**k you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
0

Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
0

Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
0

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
0

I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
0

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?
0

I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
0

I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just f**k.
0

You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
0

If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna f**k you.
0

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
0

Hi, I'm gay. Do you think you can convert me?
0

I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.
0

If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
0

Life is short. Let's f**k and see if there is anything after that.
0

Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
0

All those curves, and me with no brakes.
0

[Give the person a bottle of wine or tequila] Drink this, and then call me when you're ready.
0

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
0

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
0

[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
0

How much will $20 get me?
0

Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at pick up lines... nice tits.
0

Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.
0

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0

What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
0

Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
0

My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
0

Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
0

I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
0

Can I be the wiener in your hotdog?
0

I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
0

I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
0

What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
0

What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
0

With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth
0

You remind me of a crop, because I wanna plow you.
0

I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
0

The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
0

You wanna go out this weekend?
[Sorry, I have a boyfriend]
I have a math test tomorrow
[What?]
Oh, I thought we were talking about things we could both cheat on!
0

Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world.
0

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK.
0

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
0

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
0

Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?
0

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
0

Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.
0

Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
0

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
0

I'm good at math, U+I=69
0

Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.
0

"Lets play house...you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!"
0

I hope you're as easy as your mom....
0

My couch might pull out but I don't!
0

You wanna see a donkey show?
0

Hey baby, there's a party in your mouth and everybody's coming.
0

Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
0

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
0

Fucking is like flossing your teeth, the first few times theres gonna be blood.
0

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!
0

"Do you know Candice? (Candice who?) Candice dick fit in your mouth?
0

Hi! I'm Craven Morehead are you?
0

Save a straw...Suck A Dick.
0

(A tall man to a short woman): "You're a perfect height for what I want."
0

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
0

Hey baby, thats a nice shirt, can I talk you out of it!
0

I'm not a dick in real life, but I'll play one in your vagina tonight!
0

"Yeah, I am married. So what can I do to get you to go out with me?"
0

Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.
0

Do you handle chickens because I've heard you're good with cocks.
0

You might want to call a bomb squad, because there's going to be an explosion in your anus.
0

You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
0

Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
0

My dick is more comfortable than that chair you know.
0

Hi, how bout you grab my butt and I grab your ears!
0

You got the teacup, cause I'm bringin the teabag.
0

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd bang you in the restroom.
0

I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
0

I like the way you're wearing that shirt, but honestly honey, it'd look better on the floor.
0

Your boobs are big (so) can I touch? (no) God gave you a gift and wants you to share it with the world.
0

Gee, for a fat girl you sure don’t sweat much.
0

Hey. My friends wanted me to come over here and ask you if they were fake. Can I sqeeze them to find out?
0

Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.
0

Are you going to that funeral? (What Funeral) The one where MY BALLZ drop dead in your mouth.
0

For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
0

Do you like wedges?, cause I'm gonna wedge this dick in yo mouth.
0

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
0

The socks are having a party; can the pants come down?
0

Hey baby, I got a back seat with your name on it.
0

I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
0

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
0

I wish you were a pig(she asks why?)cause then you'd have six...(point at her chest and wait for slap)
0

Hey baby do you want some of these? she says, "These what?" You say, "these nuts."
0

You're ugly but you intrigue me.
0

You have a nice body but it would look better in my bed with me in it.
0

You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?
0

What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
0

Screw me if I'm wrong but aren't you Julia Roberts.
0

I have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
0

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
0

Your pants remind me of Vegas.... The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.
0

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickel.
0

Guy: Did you know I am a rapper? Girl: No Guy: (Takes penis out) Well now that the p is out, I guess I'm a raper.
0

Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my pussy cum!
0

Are you going to that funeral? (What Funeral) The one where MY BALLZ drop dead in your mouth.
0

Did you go swimming earier or did I get you wet.
0

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
0

Lick your fingers and touch the girls clothes and say "how bout me and you get outta these wet clothes"
0

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
0

Hey baby, do I stand a chance with you or shall I just move on to your fat friend?
0

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
0

Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!
0

I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
0

Women don't date me for my money, they date me for my money shot.
0

I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
0

Those are nice legs. do they come over easy?
0

My face will be leaving in a quarter of an hour and I'd like you to be on it.
0

I just cleaned my bedsheets, want to come mess them up with me.
0

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
0

Hey girl; I got this new cologne called hard on you. Want to try it?
0

Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
0

Some people think I'm fat but its actually my cock wrapped around me.
0

Excuse me, My name is Ben Dover (bend over). Would you like to meet my friend Master Bates (masturbates)? Or should I do it for you?

0

I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz everytime your around my dick swells up.

0

Is it just me or do most guys picture you naked?
0

Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
0

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
0

Are you busy [If no], well do you want to get busy.
0

How much does your clothes cost? (Woman says "Why do you want to know?") Cause I`ll need to know how much to pay you back after I rip them off.!

0

Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?

0

You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
0

I hear your thirsty? Well I've got a six pack right here!
0

You MUST have a nice personality.
0

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
0

Good news, the test results are negative!
0


Hey Babe...how about the two of us grabbing a pizza and going to my place and shag? No??? What's the matter? Don't you like pizza???
0

Ask a hottie, "Would you like some fruit?" When she says "Ok, what you got?" Pull down your trousers and say I got two apples and a banana.

0

It's a celebration bitches show Rick James your titi's.

0

Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
0

Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love.
0

How about I teach you about firefighting by letting you slide down my pole.
0

I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
0

Ok, I'm here, what do you want for your next wish?
0

Hey! Tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.
0

"If I was to wake you in the morning, would I just touch you on the shoulder, or would I have to call you?"
0

Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
0

How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!
0

Can I be your toliet seat so you can sit on me!
0

Bring a teabag and screw in your pocket....go to the bar hold up the teabag and screw and ask if she wants to teabag or screw...
0

You are so hot I want to bang you from behind.
0

Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
0

Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
0

Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He'd like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get a hold of me in the morning.

0

When shes about to leave say: "Hey were you going beautiful,the dark room is the other way.

0

Hi, my names bubbles. wanna blow me?
0

Girl...are you a private eye? Because I saw you checking out my package.
0

Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
0

Hey babe lets play army, I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!
0

"Hows 'bout you an me, we get together and do the horizontal mambo?"
0

I know hello in 6 different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow?
0

Hey Babe, there's a party in my pants and you're invited!
0

Walk up to a girl,look at her breasts and say: hey,tell your nipples to stop staring at me.
0

If you think you feel good, you should feel me.
0

Hey Baby. My underwear is completly stretched out. You know what that means.
0

Dikembe is a famous 7'2" African basketball player from Zaire with a raspy voice. The story goes that Dikembe walked into a Georgetown bar butt-naked one night, the entire place stopped to look at him, and in response, Mutombo just yelled out, "WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO?!"

0

Are you from Europe? Cause eura hoe.

0

If I told you that you were beautiful would you take off your clothes and dance naked?
0

Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `little member' and say: Hey charlie, see anyone here you recognize?
0

Wanna see my third leg?
0

Are you drunk enough to be taken advantage of?
0

You know, it's not premarital sex unless you plan on getting married. Do you want to be my insignificant other?
0

Since we shouldn't waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
0

You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
0

Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
0

Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
0

I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
0

Nice hair lets fuck all night long.
0

My hands are cold, can I take them down south.
0

(Give a girl a penny) then say "how much can I get with this"
0

"My magical watch says you're not wearing any panties...oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast..."
0

Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.
0

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
0

You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
0

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you're making me hard.
0

If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
0

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
0

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
0

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
0

I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
0

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
0

I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you.
0

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
0

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
0

I hope you like dragons, because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
0

I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... "Nice ass!"
0

I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.
0

Do you know the difference between my dick and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
0

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
0

Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood.
0

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
0

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
0

Do you run track? Cause I heard you Relay want this dick.
0

Are you from the ghetto? Cause I'm about to ghetto hold of dat ass.
0

You know what I like in a girl? My dick.
0

Are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
0

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
0

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?
0

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
0

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
0

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
0

Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
0

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
0

Are you from Iraq? 'Cause I like the way you Baghdad ass up.
0

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
0

Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.
0

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0

Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?
0

You can call me cake, cause I'll go straight to your ass.
0

Are you hungry? Cause omelette you suck this dick.
0

Do you like pudding? Cause I'll be pudding this dick in your ass.
0

Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
0

Do you have an inhaler? Because you've got ass ma.
0

Do you smoke pot? Because weed be cute together.
0

Are you my homework? Cause I'm not doing you but I definitely should be.
0

Roses are red, violets are fine. If I be the 6, will you be the 9?
0

Do you go to church often? Cause you're gonna be on your knees tonight.
0

Do you know your ABC's? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.
0

Are you an archaeologist? Because I've got a bone for you to examine.
0

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
0

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
0

What's the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
0

I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
0

I'm like a Rubik's Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!
0

What's the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don't have a Ferrari.
0

Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
0

I'm afraid of the dark... Will you sleep with me tonight?
0

I love my bed but I'd rather be in yours.
0

Baby, I'm like a firefighter, I find 'em hot and leave 'em wet!
0

I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
0

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
0

I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?
0

Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
0

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.
0

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0

Do you need a stud in your life? Cause I got the STD and all I need is U.
0

Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?
0

You smell like trash. May I take you out?
0

If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
0

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
0

I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
0

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?
0

That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0

Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
0

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0

Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
0

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you all night long!
0

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
0

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0

Let's play carpenter. First we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you
0

We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
0

Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
0

You're so hot, even my pants are falling for you!
0

Are you from the Philippines? Because I wanna phil you with my penis.
0

Do you like Ramen Noodles? Cuz I'll be Rammin' my noodle in you later.
0

Are you spaghetti cause I want you to meat my balls.
0

Do you like whales? Cause we can go hump back at my place.
0

Baby I last longer than a white crayon.
0

Do you like to draw? Cause I put the D in Raw.
0

We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I'll poke you.
0

You remind me of the movie "Scarface" cause I want you to say hello to my little friend.
0

Do you like Adele? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D.
0

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand.
0

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0

"Do you like cherries?" [No.] "Ok, can I have yours?"
0

Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.
0

Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.
0

[Excuse me, do you have the time?] "Yes, do you have the energy?"
0

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0

Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Because your booty is calling me.
0

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

0

Hi, wanna f**k? [No] Mind lying down while I do?

0

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
0

Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
0

Does your ass have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands?
0

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
0

You have been very naughty. Go to my room!
0

Do you like Wendy's? Cause you're gonna love Wendy's nuts slap yo face!
0

Don't ever change. Just get naked.
0

Are those jeans Guess? Cause guess who wants to be inside them...
0

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
0

Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.
0

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
0

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."

0

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

0

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0

I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
0

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
0

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
0

I'm not Asian but I'll still eat your cat.
0

Are you the lottery lady on TV, because I'm picturing you holding up my balls.
0

Damn girl I'd love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.
0

I have a job for you, but it blows!
0

Do you have a shovel? Cause I'm diggin' that ass!
0

The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.
0

Damn, are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise.
0

You're so hot you could make a deceased man's dick rise from the dead!
0

As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
0

You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.
0

Do you like tapes and CD's? Cause I'm gonna tape this dick to your forehead so you CD's nuts.
0

Do you work at the wood store? Cause I could've sworn you gave me wood before.
0

Do you like soda? Because I'd mount-and-do you. (Mountain Dew)
0

Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge.
0

I'm peanut butter, you're jelly, let's have sex.
0

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
0

Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
0

Nice shoes, wanna f**k?
0

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
0

Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
0

Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
0

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
0

Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition.
0

Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon.
0

Do you like jalapeños? Cause in a minute I'll be jalapeño pussy.
0

Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
0

Are you jewish? Cause the way you're looking at me, I'm beginning to think Jewish this dick was in your mouth.
0

Do you work for Papa Johns? Cause you're a fine pizza ass.
0

Girl are you a witch? Cause you know how to make something stand without even touching it.
0

Are you from China? Cause I'm China get in your pants.
0

Do you like Pizza Hut? Cause I'll stuff your crust.
0

Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
0

[Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say] "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
0

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f**k you on the floor.
0

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
0

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and f**k.
0

What can I do to make you sleep with me?
0

Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
0

I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long!
0

Do you like yoga? Cause Yoganna love this dick.
0

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
0

I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
0

Hey! Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the f**k outta me!
0

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
0

My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
0

If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you f**k me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.
0

Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and f**k the sh*t out of you. How do like them apples?
0

Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, suck my dick, it's a gem.
0

They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
0

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
0

Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
0

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
0

So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
0

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
0

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
0

Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
0

Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
0

Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
0

If I washed my dick, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
0

Nice f**king weather. Want to?
0

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0

We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out?
0

There are 206 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0

Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
0

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0

What do you like for breakfast?
0

Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
0

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
0

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
0

Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
0

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
0

Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
0

Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
0

Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
0

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
0

I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
0

Excuse me, I just shit in my pants. Can I get in yours?
0

You are the reason that god invented boners.
0

With great penis, comes great responsibility.
0

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
0

If you're feeling down, I can fill you up.
0

There are so many things you can do with the human mouth... why waste it on talking?
0

How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?
0

You smell... We should go take a shower together.
0

Would you like a hotdog to go with those buns?
0

You're like my own personal brand of heroin.
0

This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.
0

I'm a burglar and I'm gonna smash your backdoor in.
0

Do you wanna do something that rhymes with 'Truck'?
0

I have a rare disease that will kill me unless I have sex within the next 30 minutes. Don't let me die!
0

I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue.
0

Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits.
0

Let us let only latex stand between our love.
0

Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?
0

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
0

I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants to come down?
0

Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!
0

You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
0

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
0

Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
0

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
0

Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
0

I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
0

Are you from Ireland? 'Cuz my dick's-a-Dublin!
0

[Look down at your crotch] It's not just going to suck itself.
0

I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
0

Are you from Africa? Cause I wanna know Kenya suck this dick?
0

Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
0

[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
0

How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
0

"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!

0

Is your name Dora? Cause I'll let you explore this dick.

0

I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
0

Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?
0

Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
0

Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
0

Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
0

Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
0

Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
0

Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
0

I'm easy. Are you?
0

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
0

Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
0

This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
0

I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help...
0

Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?
0

Hey baby, I'll f**k you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
0

Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
0

Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
0

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
0

I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
0

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?
0

I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
0

I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just f**k.
0

You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
0

If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna f**k you.

0

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

0

Hi, I'm gay. Do you think you can convert me?
0

I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.
0

If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
0

Life is short. Let's f**k and see if there is anything after that.
0

Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
0

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
0

[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
0

How much will $20 get me?
0

Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at pick up lines... nice tits.
0

Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.
0

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0

What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
0

Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
0

My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
0

I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
0

Can I be the wiener in your hotdog?
0

I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
0

What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
0

What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
0

With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth!
0

You remind me of a crop, because I wanna plow you.
0

I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
0

I want to kiss you passionately on the lips then move straight up to your belly-button.
+3

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
0

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
+4

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
+6

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
-4

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
-3

Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
-2

Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
-3

Fancy a fuck?
-2

Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
-3

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
-4

I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
-3

I am a magical being, take off your bra.
-3

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
+1

I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
+1

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
+3

I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
-3

I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
+1

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
+1

Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
+3

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
+1

My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
+2

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
-4

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
-3

Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
0

Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
-1

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
+1

Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
-3

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
-4

Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
-6

Wanna fuck like bunnies?
-3

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
-5

What can I do to make you sleep with me?
-1

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
+3

Your face or MINE!?
-5

"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
0

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
+1

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
-1

Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
-2

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
0

Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
0

Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.
0

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
0

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
0

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
+2

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
-2

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
-1

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
+1

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
-2

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
-2

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?
+3

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
+1

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
-1

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
0

Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
0

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK'
-2

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
-2

Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
0

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
0

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
0

Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.
+1

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0

Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?
0

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
-2

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
+2

Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
-3

What's the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
-2

I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
0

I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
+1

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
0

I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?
0

Do you cum here often or wait till you get home?
+1

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.
+3

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
+1

If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
0

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
0

I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
0

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
+1

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?
+2

That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0

Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
+2

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
+2

Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
0

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
+2

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
0

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0

Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.
0

Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.
+1

[Excuse me, do you have the time?] "Yes, do you have the energy?"
0

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
-1

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
+2

Hi, wanna fuck? [No] Mind lying down while I do?
-1

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
+1

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
+1

Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
+2

Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.
0

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
0

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
+1

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
0

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0

I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
0

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
0

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
0

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
0

My name's [your name]. Just so you know what to scream.
0

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
-2

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
-2

Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
-2

Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
0

Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
+1

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
-1

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
-1

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
0

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
0

What can I do to make you sleep with me?
0

Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
0

I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long!
0

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
0

I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
+1

Hey! Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
0

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
0

My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
0

If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.
0

Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
0

Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, suck my dick, it's a gem.
+2

They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
0

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
0

Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
0

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
0

So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
0

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
0

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
+2

Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
0

Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
0

Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
0

If I washed my dick, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
+2

Nice fucking weather. Want to?
0

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
+2

We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out?
0

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
-2

Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
0

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
-2

What do you like for breakfast?
-2

Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
+2

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
0

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
0

Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
0

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
0

Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
0

Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
+2

Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
0

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
+2

I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
0

Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
0

Let us let only latex stand between our love.
0

Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?
0

There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
0

I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
+2

Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!
0

You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
+1

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
0

Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
0

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
0

Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
0

I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
0

(Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
0

I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
0

(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
-2

Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
0

[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
0

How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
+2

"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!
+2

Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?
0

Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
0

Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
+2

Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
+2

Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
0

Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
+2

Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
0

I'm easy. Are you?
0

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
0

Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
0

This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
0

I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
0

Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?
0

Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
0

Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
0

Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
-1

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
+5

I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
0

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?
0

I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
0

I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just fuck.
0

You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
-1

If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna fuck you.
0

Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
-2

I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.
0

If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
+2

Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
-2

Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
-2

All those curves, and me with no brakes.
0

(give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
-2

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
-2

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
-2

Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
0

I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
0

The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
+1

Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
0

Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0

Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
0

Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0

Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
+2

Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
-1

Can I see your tan lines?
-1

Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
-1

Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
+1


 

 

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