Some of Our Sexual & Lude Pickup Lines

Some of Our Pickup Lines that are Sexual & Lude

I want to kiss you passionately on the lips then move straight up to your belly-button.

+3

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
0

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
+4

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
+6

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
-4

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
-3

Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
-2

Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
-3

Fancy a fuck?
-2

Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
-3

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
-4

I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
-3

I am a magical being, take off your bra.
-3

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
+1

I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
+1

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
+3

I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
-3

I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
+1

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
+1

Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
+3

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
+1

My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
+2

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
-4

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
-3

Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
0

Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
-1

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
+1

Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
-3

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
-4

Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
-6

Wanna fuck like bunnies?
-3

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
-5

What can I do to make you sleep with me?
-1

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
+3

Your face or MINE!?
-5

"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
0

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
+1

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
-1

Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
-2

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
0

Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
0

Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.
0

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
0

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
0

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
+2

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
-2

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
-1

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
+1

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
-2

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
-2

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?
+3

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
+1

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
-1

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
0

Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
0

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK'
-2

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
-2

Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
0

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
0

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
0

Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.
+1

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0

Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?
0

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
-2

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
+2

Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
-3

What's the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
-2

I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
0

I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
+1

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
0

I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?
0

Do you cum here often or wait till you get home?
+1

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.
+3

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
+1

If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
0

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
0

I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
0

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
+1

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?
+2

That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0

Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
+2

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
+2

Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
0

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
+2

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
0

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0

Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.
0

Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.
+1

[Excuse me, do you have the time?] "Yes, do you have the energy?"
0

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
-1

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
+2

Hi, wanna fuck? [No] Mind lying down while I do?
-1

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
+1

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
+1

Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
+2

Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.
0

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
0

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
+1

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
0

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0

I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
0

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
0

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
0

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
0

My name's [your name]. Just so you know what to scream.
0

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
-2

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
-2

Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
-2

Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
0

Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
+1

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
-1

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
-1

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
0

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
0

What can I do to make you sleep with me?
0

Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
0

I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long!
0

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
0

I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
+1

Hey! Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
0

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
0

My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
0

If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.
0

Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
0

Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, suck my dick, it's a gem.
+2

They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
0

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
0

Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
0

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
0

So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
0

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
0

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
+2

Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
0

Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
0

Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
0

If I washed my dick, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
+2

Nice fucking weather. Want to?
0

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
+2

We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out?
0

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
-2

Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
0

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
-2

What do you like for breakfast?
-2

Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
+2

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
0

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
0

Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
0

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
0

Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
0

Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
+2

Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
0

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
+2

I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
0

Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
0

Let us let only latex stand between our love.
0

Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?
0

There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
0

I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
+2

Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!
0

You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
+1

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
0

Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
0

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
0

Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
0

I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
0

(Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
0

I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
0

(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
-2

Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
0

[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
0

How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
+2

"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!
+2

Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?
0

Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
0

Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
+2

Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
+2

Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
0

Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
+2

Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
0

I'm easy. Are you?
0

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
0

Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
0

This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
0

I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
0

Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?
0

Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
0

Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
0

Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
-1

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
+5

I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
0

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?
0

I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
0

I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just fuck.
0

You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
-1

If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna fuck you.
0

Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
-2

I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.
0

If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
+2

Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
-2

Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
-2

All those curves, and me with no brakes.
0

(give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
-2

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
-2

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
-2

Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
0

I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
0

The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
+1

Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
0

Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0

Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
0

Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0

Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
+2

Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
-1

Can I see your tan lines?
-1

Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
-1

Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
+1