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Professional Pickup Lines

Medical Doctor Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines for Medical Doctors


My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I'm falling for you.

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(Hold out a stethoscope) Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?
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My adductor isn't the only thing that's longus.
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I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.
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Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition.
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Trust me, this is how they did Mammograms back in the old days.
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Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat.
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Are you a pulmonary embolism? 'Cause I can't breathe when I'm around you.
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(Look for any small skin imperfection) Has anyone ever looked at that? Why don’t we go back to my place so I can give you a full exam?
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When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma.
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How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy?
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Baby, you make me vasodilate!
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No that's not an epi-pen in my pants, I'm just happy to see you.
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Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum?
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That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn't coming from an artery.
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I am an organ donor, need anything?
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Come into my office and take off your pants
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Lawyer Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines for Lawyers

Why don't you take a look at my briefs?

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I believe that it's in our best interest to comply with section 69 of the act.
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I'd have to plead insanity if I ever left you.
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If loving you is a crime, then I'm looking at a life sentence.
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Excuse me, are you into reverse bifurcation?
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When I think of you, I become fully vested.
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I've got a precedent that's long and deep.
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Is your estate subject to open?
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I don't know if I have standing, but I'd love to court you.
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I'll teach you about jurisdiction if we change the venue to my place.
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I think I'd be liable for negligence if I neglected to come over and talk to you.
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How about coming back to my place for a little actus reus?
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There is no burden of proof for how fine you are.
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I love you beyond a reasonable doubt.
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Let me show you my mens rea.
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When I bring an ejectment action, there'll be nothing quiet about your enjoyment.
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'Res ipsa loquitur', honey. Your hot body speaks for itself!
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Your body is 'ultra vires', it's beyond my power to control myself around you.
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Stock Market Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines about the Stock Market

Baby, the way you support free markets stimulates growth in my private sector!

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Baby, you're not an option... you're totally a future!
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I hope you're a bear, cause I'm going to go down on you.
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You must be fiscally irresponsible because I'm feeling inflationary pressure in my pants.
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Girl, are you a stock? Because you sure like bouncing a lot!
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I want to restructure you.
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You're a hot commodity
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You look like a successful business woman, because you really know how to position yourself for me.
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Computer geek Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines for Computer Geeks

Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for.

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You make my software turn into hardware!
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Is your name Wi-fi? Because I'm really feeling a connection.
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Are you sitting on the F5 key? Cause your ass is refreshing.
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You had me at "Hello World."
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Want to see my HARD Disk? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
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You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
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You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.
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I hope you're an ISO file, because I'd like to mount you.
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My servers never go down... but I do!
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My 'up-time' is better than BSD.
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Are you an angel, because your texture mapping is divine!
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You've stolen the ASCII to my heart.
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Are you a computer keyboard? Because you're my type.
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You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.
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If you were a web browser, you'd be called a Fire-foxy lady
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How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
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Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
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Your beauty rivals the graphics of Call of Duty.
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You must be Windows 95 because you've got me feeling so unstable.
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I was hoping you wouldn't block my pop-up.
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Want to see my Red Hat?
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If you won't let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.
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You put the SPARC in my workstation.
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You're so pretty, I wouldn't even need to use an Instagram filter if I took your photo.
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Isn't your e-mail address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?
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I'd switch to emacs for you.
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What's a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?
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No, that's not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.
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Nice Set of Floppies!
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I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.
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If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.
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WebMD says your love is contagious.
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Hey, how 'bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU.
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I'd like to play on your laptop.
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Where's the 'like' button for that smile?
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You totally spiked my traffic.
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You are the Apple of my i-Mac.
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If you were an ISP I'd dial you all day long.
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If you were an ebay auction, I'd totally 'buy it now'.
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You have a trojan? hmm... I think I'll need to take a look at that backdoor.
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Come to my 127.0.0.1 and I’ll give you sudo access.
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I must be using Apple maps, because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
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I'd get a T3 to watch your streaming video.
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I'll bet my hard drive is the biggest you've ever seen.
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Your homepage or mine?
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Hey Baby, Let me hack your kernel.
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No, that's not an iPod mini in my pocket. I'm just happy to see you.
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You auto-complete me.
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I didn't mean to ogle you, but I'd sure like to Google you.
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I was wondering if you'd like to go back to My-Space, so I can Twitter with your Yahoo, until I Google all over your Facebook?
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If you ever need to get rid of a trojan, don't hesitate to call me!
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You're making me feel like I have something in common with these pop-up ads.
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What's the difference between a crush and a Facebook account? [what?] I'm not rapidly developing a Facebook account on you.
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I need to hop over to Facebook for a second to change my status to smitten.
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What do you say we play a game of "Words With More Than Friends?"
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Roses are #ff0000, violets are #0000ff, all my base are belong to you.
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Need me to unzip your files?
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Are your pants a compressed file? Because I'd love to unzip them!
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I googled your name earlier... I clicked on 'I'm Feeling Lucky.'
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How about we go home and you handle my exception?
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If we were connected on Linkedin, I'd endorse you all night long.
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I wish you were Broadband, so I could get high-speed access.
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Girl, you are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.
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I'd ask if you come here often, but I already stalk you on FourSquare.
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Computer techs have skilled fingers if you know what I mean.
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physics & Science Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines about Physics and Science

That dress would look even better accelerating towards my bedroom floor at 9.8 m/s2

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What do you say we use my lever to shift your center of mass?
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Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry would have caused some problems for you.
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I might be a physics major, but I'm no Bohr in bed.
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Your lab bench, or mine?
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Your eyes have a perfect wavelength of 563.4 nm.
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Don't you hate it how the coyote always remains suspended in midair until he looks down? It's just SO misleading.
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Hey baby. It's massive. You know what I'm talking about.
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What's your resonance frequency?
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Wanna dance? I can really put your inertia in motion.
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I have E=mc2 tattooed on my ass. Wanna see?
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Wanna couple our equations tonight?
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Can I have your significant digits?
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I haven't gotten laid in 4 years, 3 months, and 12 days, plus-or-minus 2 days. Would you care to check my error bars?
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Did you swallow a magnet? Because you're attractive.
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Top quark or bottom quark?
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You're more special than relativity.
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My last partner wasn't very stable. She spontaneously decayed last week and left me for a neutrino.
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I know the spring constant for my mattress. Wanna take some data?
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How do you feel about group experiments?
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Like the ideal vacuum, you're the only thing in my universe.
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Heisenberg was wrong. I'm certain about what you're doing tonight.
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Those other guys said that your eyes shine like stars. But can they explain how they shine with equal brightness?
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According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me.
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Even if there were no gravity on Earth, I'd still fall for you!
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Let's exchange fermions!
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Engineers don't know the first thing about pleasing a woman. Friction alone can't get the job done.
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You and Me = Grand Unification
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Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between me and you?
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In my bed, it's perpetual motion all night long, baby.
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Two large masses that are close together are supposed to radiate gravitational waves. I think that you're a big part of that.
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I'm attracted to you like the Earth is attracted to the Sun - with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared.
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I'm hung like a Foucault pendulum.
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Math Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines about Math for Math Lovers

I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

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My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
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How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the 7 digits of your phone number?
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I wish I was your second derivative so I could investigate your concavities.
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You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
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Hey baby, what's your sine?
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I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
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By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
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You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
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Are you a 90 degree angle? 'Cause you are looking right!
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My love for you is like pi... never ending.
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I'd like to plug my solution into your equation.
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Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
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I am equivalent to the Empty Set when you are not with me.
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I don’t like my current girlfriend. Mind if I do a you-substitution?
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I can figure out the square root of any number in less than 10 seconds. What? You don’t believe me? Well, then, let’s try it with your phone number.
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Hey, baby want to Squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nomial?
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Hey...nice asymptote.
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i'm not being obtuse, but you're acute girl.
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I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain.
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Are you a 45 degree angle? Because you're acute-y.
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My love for you is like y=2^x... exponentially growing.
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I'll take you to your limit if you show me your end behavior.
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Can i explore your mean value?
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The derivative of my love for you is 0, because my love for you is constant.
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I'm good at math... let's add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!
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Our love is like dividing by zero... you cannot define it
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If you were a graphics calculator, i'd look at your curves all day long!
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I've been secant you for a long time.
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If I'm sine and you're cosine, wanna make like a tangent?
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Meeting you is like making a switch to polar coordinates: complex and imaginary things are given a magnitude and a direction.
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Being without you is like being a metric space in which exists a cauchy sequence that does not converge
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My love for you is a monotonically increasing unbounded function
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You are the solution to my homogeneous system of linear equations.
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I heard you're good at algebra - Could you replace my X without asking Y?
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Are you a math teacher? Because you got me harder than calculus.
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i'll take you to the limit as X approaches infinity.
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Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
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Let's take each other to the limit to see if we converge
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You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you.
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Let me integrate our curves so that I can increase our volume
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If i were a function you would be my asymptote - i always tend towards you.
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Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors.
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I wish i was your problem set, because then I'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk.
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My love is like an exponential curve - it's unbounded
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My love for you is like a fractal - it goes on forever.
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My love for you is like the derivative of a concave up function because it is always increasing. we're going to assume this concave up function resembles x^2 so that slopes is actually increasing.
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I hope you know set theory because i want to intersect and union you
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You've got more curves than a triple integral.
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Honey, you're sweeter than pi.
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If you were sin^2x and I was cos^2x, then together we'd make one.
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Baby, you're like a student and I'm like a math book... you solve all my problems!
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My friends told me that I should ask you out because you can't differentiate. Do you need math help?
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Wanna expand my polynomial?
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biology & Chemistry Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines for Biology and Chemistry Lovers


If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

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You're so hot, you denature my proteins.
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Can I be the phasor to your electron and take you to an excited state?
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Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are Cu-Te
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Do you have 11 protons? 'Cause you're Sodium fine!
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Do you like Science? Because I've got my ion you!
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You must be gibberelin, because I'm experiencing some stem elongation.
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You make my anoxic sediments want to increase their redox potential.
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Are you made of Nickel, Cerium, Arsenic and Sulfur? Because you've got a NiCe AsS!
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Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?
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Didn't you know that chemists do it periodically on the table?
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I bet you're like calcium bicarbonate - if I get you wet, the reaction will be explosive!
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Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? 'Cause you are F-I-Ne
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Me and you would undergo a more energetic reaction then Potassium and water.
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Are you a compound of Beryllium and Barium? Because you're a total BaBe.
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Im more attracted to you then F is attracted to an electron.
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I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body.
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I want to work on your leucine zipper with my zinc fingers.
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If you were oxygen, I would be an alkali metal so i could get in you and explode!
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We fit together like the sticky ends of recombinant DNA.
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You are the photon to my photosystem: you excite my electron until I reach my reaction centre.
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You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power.
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If I were a neurotransmitter, I would be dopamine so I could activate your reward pathway.
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Hey, wanna put your alpha helix in my beta barrel?
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Hey baby, why don't you get your ligase working on my okazaki fragment and lengthen my strand.
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Hey, are you an alpha carbon, because you look susceptible to backside attack!
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Do you want to extract some protein from my column?
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According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me.
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Everyone knows its not the size of the vector that matters, but the way the force is delivered.
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How about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
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If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
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We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after.
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My hypothalamus must be secreting serotonin because baby, I want you!
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I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
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You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract.
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I wish I were Adenine because then I could get paired with U.
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You’re like telophase, I admire your cleavage.
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Hey baby, want to form a synapse with me and exchange neurotransmitters?
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Hey baby, want to form a zygote?
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It’s a good thing you've got evaporative cooling, cause I’m going to make you sweat
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If I were a Shwann cell, I'd squeeze areound your axon and give you a fast action potential.
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Want to be my substrate/enzyme?
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If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?
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If you were a concentration gradient I'd go down on you.
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If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.
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Whenever I am near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away
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I want to stick to u like glue-cose.
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You must be the one for me, since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.
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Can I be your enzyme? because my active site is dying for a chemical reaction.
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You give me more jolt than a mitochondria!
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Right now we’re just two RNA, but maybe we could transcribe together and become DNA.
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I have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean.
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I also prefer my ribosomes bound tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid.
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Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?
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